MASK!!

Today she finally let her mask fall,
Finally she ignored patience’s call.
She let her tears flow,
That let the “always happy’s” mask blow.
She tried hard but couldn’t hold her mask,
She just cried and cried, leaving “be fake’s” task.
He said “good – bye” and left her alone,
All she was left with regret, a grief, a moan.
Eating sleeping pills, she wiped her drowsy eyes,
And believed to the fact that his love was disguise.

Her last words!!

She is sitting beneath a weeping tree,
Pain and lonliness are not setting her free.
The dark clouds provide her a shadow,
With each painful night she is feeling low.
She cries every night and fakes a smile,
To know her melancholic mystery, walk a mile.
Her dark circles certifies her deep sorrow,
She wish there was happiness store to borrow.
This time she lost the meaning of life,
To live or die, with herself she is in strife.
This bitter phase was just too vast,
She wish her warranty no longer to last.
She forgot that only demons exist in this deceitful planet,
Because whenever she tried to share her sadness all she got was a neglect.
She finally took a blade and cut her hand,
Because she found no one who would take a stand.

Silence!!

Under the dark sheltered sky,

When the loving couple are sharing a blush,

Nightingales and the shining moon listen,

And softly the silence speak..

Besides the sea shore,

When the loving couple are walking hand-in-hand,

Dolphins and the melody of waves listen,

And softly the silence speak..

On a bench above the grass,

When the loving couple share a hug,

Butterflies and grasshoppers cease to fly,

And softly the silence speak..

But now the things have changed,

With the pinky cheeks, salted-watery cheeks replaced.

The night moves But I sit still.

Eating up thoughts, tears are paying bill.

The drowsy eyes are in no mood to sleep,

Instead they are demanding to weep,

Even the wind chimes are standing quiet,

But now ....silence screams in melancholy night.

Together..??

Despite of his repeatedly warnings, she cared

She made all approaches but not a single moment he shared.
She knew his answer was No and will never change,

Still she couldn’t give up, strange.

He cared for her but only as a friend,

But his awkwardness “as friends” had no end.

She thought what if she would have never confessed,

But how long these feelings could stay undressed.

No matter what he never left her hand,

Because “value friendship”, was his brain’s command.

But now the things have changed,

As if the bird is released disengaged.
She smiled, he smiled.

She laughs, he laughs

She is enjoying, he is enjoying.

They lived a happy life after,

But ...who said together??

Afterlife!

Why?

I am so lost.

Even though I am surrounded by people.

Just faking a smile around.

Why?

I don’t see any shades.

Even though my eyes are faultless.

Oh! May be the love died.

Why?

I suddenly feel thrown out.

When he just greeted me with hi-five .

may be he is wearing a mask.

Why?

The loneliness is pricking me.

Does his ignorance affect me that much?

May be I loved him with all my heart.

Why?

I feel so restless.

Today pain and agony hugged me.

Tears started kissing my cheeks.

Dreams of a happy life are now shattered.

Why?

Even the window stands naked.

No interrupted shades or light.

May be because glow has left my life.

Why?

I feel so attracted to him.

Living in a fictional world,

With a bunch full of lies.

Suffering,

Deteriorated,

Abide,

Cant accept the reality that he wont upturn.

Where can I find one?

Who would help to heal my wound?

May be in an afterlife!

Kya hai zindagi ??

Zindagi ka ek khel,
Jisme hai khushi, gum, pyar aur dosti ki mix bhel.

kabhi bohot kuch de jaati hai zindagi,

aur kabhi bohot kuch chheen bhi leti hai zindagi,

Mausamo ki tarah rang badalti hai zindagi,

sache pyar ka ehsas dilati hai zindagi,

matlabi duniya ki sair bhi karati hai zindagi,

sacha dost kon hai batlati hai zindagi,

pyari si janjhat hai zindagi,

dosti jaan se pyari bhi hoti hai, ye sikhlati hai zindagi,

dosti maut ka dwar bhi khatkasakti hai, ye samjhadeti hai zindagi,

ek pyaari si naav hai zindagi,

dard ko andekha krna sikhati hai zindagi,

pyar ko sametlena bhi sikhati hai zindagi,

kisi ke pyar ke saath dard ko jhelne ki taaqat bhi deti hai zindagi,

aasman tak uddaan bharneka kaam karti hai zindagi,

waqt pe aukaat dikhaneka kaam bhi kar leti hai zindagi,

gum ke aansu dilati hai zindagi,

khushi ke aansu bhi dilati hai zindagi

har dinn kuch naya sikhlati hai zindagi,

kisiko khone ke baad sambhalne ki taaqat bhi deti hai zindagi.

kya hai yeh zindagi??

samajna hai mushkil

par itna yaad rakho dosto..

Zindagi hai k khel
jismne hai KHUSHI, GUM, PYAR aur DOSTI ki mix bhel .

The reason behind conflicts is CONFLICTS itself or WE HUMANS??

I know even you are confused as to what I actually intend to say.

Let me tell you a story which will give you a much clear idea about what exactly the above title indicates.

The story is about two teenage girls (best friends) who were about to be strangers but a single thought changed the whole situation.

Dua, she belonged to a middle class family, had some financial issues but was fun – loving, caring and sweet. She was weak in studies, not weak exactly, she managed to score between 65-75%. But except studies she was very talented and creative in her own way. She used to write poems, loved making greeting cards and handmade stuffs. Uttara, her best friend from past two years, her first reader, first one to comment on her hand made creations, manager of her mood swings, her support, her partner in crime. Two sisters from different mothers. They were inseparable. But destiny found a strange way to test their bond. What was so intense that they were about to part their ways?

They both lived happily, shared the deepest secrets. There was their guy – mutual friend Shrey. He was very sweet and caring. He had feelings for Uttara, but was short heighted. After she got to know about his feelings, she feared talking with him. In simple words she didn’t want to hurt him. Being close friends would increase his feelings for Uttara and she didn’t want this to happen. But who can ignore destiny’s call? His unconditional love made her fall for him. Even Uttara didn’t realize when did it happened. Everything was magical. Shrey seemed everything for Uttara. Their love grew. Dua seemed happy because the past wound that Uttara was suffering from was vanishing. Uttara felt on the top of the world. Boyfriend on one side and best friend on other, both were supportive, which girl would be unhappy? Life was smooth and easy for all the three. Like said neither good nor bad days stays for a long time.

During one of the regular meetings of Dua, Uttara and Shrey, Dua felt that something was offbeat that day. She tried to have more than their usual conversations. Shrey sensed that something was wrong with Dua. He asked her twice or thrice”ALL OKAY?” She nodded. But she was expecting Uttara to ask her the same question “ALL OKAY?” But nothing seemed to be happening the way she wanted. As world isn’t a wish granting factory. She was left disheartened. She felt Uttara was ignoring her. She felt sad. This was just her assumption though. It hurt her. Every time Dua asked Uttara out, she was either going on date with Shrey or had a family function waiting for her. She got accustomed to hear a NO from Uttara. Every no from Uttara was killing her. She kept repeating “world is not a wish granting factory, expectations hurt”. Almost a million times she repeated these lines. She was lonely. She hated friendships. Friends are deceitful. She even cursed relationships; she thought relationships pose as an obstacle for friendships. Ahh!!! Friends don’t exist, she forgot.

But the reason was that Uttara was indeed busy .The situation itself was tricky. And you can’t expect happiness from a negative person. Dua was surrounded by negativity.

She forgot Uttara’s words “Dua, you are my first priority and second is Shrey, no individual can break our bond, trust me Dua I’ll never leave you, and I love you”. Negativity had risen to a level where Uttara’s genuine words seemed fake. The so called “fights” started rising. Uttara tried to convince her that her words are genuine. She loved her but “your words were fake Uttara, people change easily” pricked her. She didn’t know what to do. Neither Dua nor Uttara tried to understand that both were right just the situation was wrong. Both behaved like immature insane. Their fights rose to a level where every shared word seemed forced and phony. She felt oblivion.

The actual reason behind Dua’s behavior was her past. Her ex-best friend had left her imprudently, just like a passing breeze. She feared losing Uttara. She didn’t want to be an option again. But most of all she feared being lonely once again.

Uttara was so confused, staring at her watch mindlessly; she noticed the hands of the clock. She wondered how the passing time changes everything. She did not know how to console Dua. Tears rolled down. Even Uttara didn’t want to lose Dua. After all she was her first priority. Uttara repeatedly called Dua but she never answered.

Because of the frustration and sadness, things changed between Uttara and Shrey. It turned messy. Uttara cursed herself, she started blaming herself for everything, “I am not a good daughter, nor a best friend neither a good lover”. She cried to herself repeating those words again and again.

Now the question is why she repeatedly said NOT A GOOD DAUGHTER?

She was feeling guilty, guilty of her secret relationship which she was hiding from her mother. Everything, every single thing her mom knew about her ex. But she feared explaining her love for Shrey as he was short heighted than Uttara. She thought her mom will ask her to breakup. With each passing second it seemed that she was betraying her mom. But the bitter truth was that she had betrayed her mom’s trust.

Uttara sat next to her window thinking what could be the reason of so many conflicts, misunderstandings? And what might be the reason of all the stuff turning negative? Something struck her. She picked her cell phone and she began to type a message to Dua.

Dearest Dua,

The reason behind every wrong thing happening in our life is BLACKMAGIC. Just wonder how could all happen at once?? Our fights, misunderstandings between me and Shrey, feeling of betrayal, the feeling of hatred when mom teases me with Shrey but I can’t help and say ‘WE’RE FRIENDS’?  All this bullshit is occurring because of black magic. I think we should visit some tantric and let it all out? What say? Reply ASAP.

Phone beeped. But now - a - days Dua hardly checked her phone. She ran to grab the phone because she was expecting her Dad’s message whether he was free to go for an outing. But the name read CHIGGY-WIGGY (Uttara). Even though she was disappointed she couldn’t stop herself by reading her text.

She literally laughed out, for the first time, in what felt like weeks. She couldn’t stop thinking about Uttara’s lame thought of “black magic”.

Dua switched on her I-pod, which only had instrumentals, to be precise. Whenever she felt lonely she would plug in her earphones and enjoy her instrumentals. And then she had a sudden thought, felt a sudden change of heart and finally sighed at her own realization.

She ultimately understood the prime reason behind every miserable day they went through. She asked herself the question that, the reason behind the conflicts were CONFLICTS itself or WE HUMANS? She realized neither she or Uttara nor Shrey was wrong. Everyone was right in their place. If at all there was something wrong in it was the situation. Uttara’s relationship was new to her. She never ignored, but was being over – friendly with Shrey. As love was a new thing for her. She met someone so interesting and genuine. She never stopped loving me, just the things were a bit different now that she was involved with someone. Basically she had three phases to handle – her family, her best friend (Dua ) and the love of her life (shrey). So Dua was not able to spend the same amount of time she used to but in reality the love had never changed. And Dua behaving weird with Uttara, had left Uttara with frustration and she used to get upset and angry sooner with Shrey, mood effected Shrey and things were not same. All were interrelated with each other’s mood. If Dua had understood it in the beginning nothing would have turned out the way it did, but if this situation didn’t take place then Dua would have never got a chance to know Uttara more closely. She hated the fact that she didn’t understand Uttara when she needed to be understood the most. But she was happy for sorting it all out. She thanked God for it and accepted these sufferings as a bitter phase of her life where she realized the true importance of Uttara. Anyways how would one learn to appreciate bliss without pain. She loved Uttara even more. This phase has made them inseparable since.

She called Uttara and asked her to meet in next 30mins. Dua explained every little thing. Uttara was relieved and started laughing on her blackmagic’s thought. Everything fell into its place. Like before, they got together and made a promise *BluePurplePromise*, that whatever may be the situation they’ll mutually sort it all out with a matured understanding.

We humans have the tendency to blame others. But we never pay attention to who we are. What our mistakes are, and how our thoughts can affect our relations. Just a piece of advice my dear readers, whenever you ever feel ignored by someone or you feel that someone will forget you, talk to them, clear out the matter, calmly and maturely because true relationships are difficult to find. Never leave anyone assuming that s/he doesn’t like me or because of any reason, I think I should stop talking to him/her. Talk and express yourself and just clear it all out. And if it’s the other person’s mistake learn to forgive because it will help you achieve a peaceful conscience and a life full of contentment.

Editing Courtesy : Priyanka Nagmoti.